Under Siege 2 - Dark Territory (1995)

Instead of wearing an apron that says "Kiss the Cook," Seagal's says "Kiss the Rings B---h."

For several months we have been searching every video store in hopes of finding Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, only to come up short time and time again. We even checked every $5 bin with exhaustion. The only thing we could come across was Under Siege which we have already watched/reviewed/loved but never it's b counterpart #2. So this past Sunday after a nice day of NFL action half of Sid was poking around his local blockbuster when something magnificent happend. Looking through some videos for sale revealed a copy of Under Siege 2 for the glorious price of $3.99. Just looking at the cover gives you the feeling that you're in for some of the finest action b you will ever grace your eyes upon. You have Seagal who is hanging from a moving train with one hand, his piece in the other, and all the rear cars on fire from a sweet explosion. The only thing that could have made the cover better was if you had a zombie Busey (since he died in the first one) hanging on behind Seagal. But since we didn't have a horror-action here that wasn't in the cards.

Our story picks up with now retired Navy chef Casey Ryback working as a cook at the Mile High Cafe in Denver Colorado ($100 says Seagal begged the producers to call it the Mile High Club). Ryback has decided he wants to take his niece Sarah (Katherine Heigl) on a little vacation to LA which she doesn't seem happy about at all. Instead of being happy to spend some time with uncle Seagal she's pissed because he and her father hadn't talked in years. He gives her some song and dance and all of a sudden she loves him again. Within a 2 minute span she goes from hating him to hugging him saying how happy she is to see him. Typical woman. Now that all is well in the Ryback family they hop aboard the train to meet their uncle Tom porter Bobby Zachs (Morris Chestnut) who has the hots for Sarah. That however soon changed when he tries to make a move on her and she grabs his hand flipping him over in quite the hilarious scene. She says she learned her sweet ninja moves from her uncle as the movie takes b to new heights. From the non stop corny dialogue within the first 20 minutes the film was already up to 2 stars.

Once the train gets moving we see a couple shady characters that you knew would be the hijackers. Travis Dane and his crew stand up with their guns and alert everyone they are taking control of the train. Who hijackes a train? We're pretty sure the last time a train was hijacked or robbed was in the 1920's, but Dane must be a man of tradition. We soon find out that 2 of the passengers on the train hold the secret passwords to control a top-secret government weapon of mass destruction. He makes them cough up the codes by nearly burning their eyes out with some device, which Santa told us all about when he burst in half way through the film. Anyway, once he gets the codes he throws both of them off the moving train down the side of a mountain. Fantastic! Now Dane hacks into the government database taking conrtol of the weapon. He starts going nuts blowing up various building all over the world. In fact the scene of the destroyed industrial facility in China recycles unused footage from On Deadly Ground (1994). In On Deadly Ground, it's the burning Aegis Oil facility. Another star for reused footage.

As the choas continues they find out the universally feared Casey Ryback is on the train. They find his niece and take her hostage to lure Ryback into their clutches. Unfortunate for them Ryback is already on his way killing any of their crew in his path with help from the porter. Ryback is able to unattach part of the cart with a lot of the hostages so they won't have to witness Rybacks sureal ninja moves rendering them speechless. We have some crazy fights scenes in which Seagal hangs off the side of a mountain with 1 hand yet manages to kill 2 guys. Don't ask. And he winds up taking out every villian, saving the pentagon, and his niece. Good thing the government left the fate of the world in Seagals hands by saying "Rybacks on that train? Leave it to him."

Under Siege 2 was well worth the wait. We would give it more then 5 stars if we could. It has everything you will ever need in an action movie. Expect explosions, hilarious sped up martial arts, neck snapping, arm breakings, train jumping, borat looking villan, non stop one liners, rock scailing, knife fighting, and a ton of casualties by the hands of a semi slender pre ponytailed Seagal. If you haven't seen this one and you enjoy our reviews go and pick it up. Do it Now! You'll even get to hear Seagal say "Nobody beats me in the kitchen!"




October 2, 2008

Hilarious! Funny in all of the wrong places.

One of my all time favorite comedies. Watch as hardened mercenaries nearly crap themselves at the very mention of "Casey Ryback's" name. Chock full of one-liners so corny, you'll run to the kitchen for butter and salt. October 2, 2008

Quality thriller & knuckle fest

Great stuff - this is soooo entertaining!

Doomsday weapons, nutty villains, brutal terrorists, a snotty niece and tons of quality violence and explosions. It even includes some recipes. What more do you want?

August 15, 2008

A Guilty Pleasure That is as Good As The First

I don't care shoot me, but I think this movie is as good as or even better than the first Under Siege. Sure the movie is a little cheesier in some areas, but the plot and action is to me better than its predecessor. The fight scenes in the first film are in the dark and majorly censored. The fight scene with Tommy Lee Jones and Steven Seagal wasn't that great, really short. In this sequel there is plenty of more action, and the violence is not censored at all. This movie also marks the first out of 3 times that Morris Chestnut worked with Steven Seagal.

The movie commences with a new satellite being launched into space. This satellite it seems is no ordinary satellite. Aside from viewing anyone, anywhere; it can be used as a potential nuclear weapon....Very original, right? This plot has been seen hundreds of times, particularly in 007 movies. Aside from its unoriginal "satellite" idea (that of course obviously falls into the wrong hands) it manages to be fresh and entertaining.

Anyhow back to the plot of the movie, Segal once again plays Casey Rayback, now retired and out of the Navy is planning to get some quality time with his niece(Katherine Heighl) of course as all action movies go its impossible for our hero to have a nice time. Instead he has a nice bone crushing time. A cuckoo computer hacker and a group of mercenaries overtake a train and passengers, along with Rayback and his niece. The hacker it seems is the designer of this satelite...And guess what? That's right he is taking the control of El Satelite. his plan, to threaten the U.S. of possible areas where he may attack, this way he can get ransom and everyone lives happily ever after. Seriously though the movie is a worthy sequel that even though it may not be original it surely knows how to entertain in its guilty pleasure sense. Worth owning all the way.

PERSONAL RATING: 4 OUT OF 5
July 24, 2008

Runaway Sequel

There's no denying one thing: "Under Siege 2", directed by Geoff Murphy ("xXx: State Of The Union"), is one of Seagal's biggest movies. Shot on a $60 million budget, the follow-up to the top-grossing "Under Siege" promises big, and features Seagal's most endearing film persona - former Navy SEAL Casey Ryback - taking the fight to a moving train.

The storyline: Ryback, now retired from the Navy, joins his niece (Katherine Heigl, "Roswell") on a train ride to Los Angeles so they may visit the grave of her father. However, the same train is hijacked by mercenaries, headed by a computer genius (Eric Bogosian, "Law & Order") who gains control of a military satellite with destructive capabilities. After the passengers and his daughter are taken hostage, Ryback must race against time to disarm the terrorists and stop an automated attack against China.

Though the film still falls under Seagal's "good" movies, I was disappointed by it as a whole: nothing seemed as good as it should've been, and when comparing his earlier titles, this one seemed more in the vicinity of "On Deadly Ground" than the original "Under Siege".
Maybe it's seeing Seagal beginning to put on weight: the aikido master had never been much of a bodybuilder, but up until his previous film, he had been pretty trim. Perhaps it's age, but in "Siege 2", Seagal's face is pretty chubby, and his build is a bit heavier. Too bad it didn't stop there...
Or maybe it's the villains: after seeing Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey in the original film, Bogosian and his cohort Everett McGill ("Quest For Fire") just don't seem fun or crazy enough.

Still, the film includes plenty of Seagalian violence - lots of arm-breaking, wrist-snapping, and gunshots to the head - culminating in a scene where our hero slices Bogosian's fingers off with a sliding door. Stunts include Seagal hanging by a rope over a canyon and jumping between train cars. The supporting cast pulls its weight well, with the villains remaining deplorable and Steven's sidekicks funny and courageous. All of these things weigh in for the film's favour, but all in all, the film really doesn't live up to its predecessor; the train setting gives the film a much smaller scale than the prequel, and the plot offers no innovation of scenarios, action, or Seagal's character.

In the end, fans seem to be nicely divided between which of the two "Under Siege" films they prefer, but as a legitimate enthusiast of Seagal's, this blockbuster represents a step down the ladder. Nonetheless, the film should be right at home in the collections of other fans; casual action-lovers might want to compare this to the original film before considering a purchase. May 18, 2008

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