Green Street Hooligans (2005)

The Green Street LEET

"Green Street Hooligans" is one of those questionable indie "masterpieces" that falls somewhere between unintentional comedy and heavy-handed drama. It opens with hooligans singing--giving the wrong impression that kick boxer Lexi Alexander intended a musical comedy. The hooligans sing and dance A LOT-even atop tables,hobbit-like--and one wonders if this is the musical version of "The Warriors."

"Green Street Hooligans" then congeals with the main plot. Matt Buckner (Elijah Wood) is being wrongly expelled from Harvard. There are some brief,beautiful views of Boston/Cambridge--as well as Elijah's obligatory voice-over. He goes to Great Britain,to be with his sister (Claire Forlani),who doesn't resemble him one bit. Adoption, extramarital affair, or alien impregnation? You decide. Soon,he's introduced to Pete (Charlie Hunnam,FX's Sons of Anarchy) Pete introduces Matt to the exciting world of hooliganism. Pete and Matt get accused of being a gay couple-to Matt's utter blank-faced shock-but they don't end up being a real one (fanfiction writers would've scripted otherwise,believe me)There are some pointless fights,lousy editing,poorly contrived plot twists,not to mention ANOTHER voice-over from Elijah at the hour mark. An extended one. But with one benefit that makes the wait worth it--Matt loses his shirt to get the West Ham tattoo on his chest. Thus,three stars instead of two for the sheer,brief excitement of that.

"Green Street Hooligans" is incredibly contrived. There's inter-gang warfare,the "stand your ground" motto (Gandalf says the same thing in "Return of the King",really),Hunnam left having to overact as a Cockney hoolifan because Elijah is sleepwalking,blank,the whole time. That includes the fights. The music is standard rockin' fare. "Green Street Hooligans" is a combination of sloppy editing,mediocre to bad acting,and melodramatic plot. With its musical numbers,it's comparable to Mariah Carey's "Glitter",except Carey made a more coherent story. She based it on herself. On the other hand, Lexi Alexander,who got her work visa thanks to Chuck Norris, has gone on to direct the gruesome comic book epic "Punisher: War Zone." "Green Street Hooligans" is so bad--it's almost good. It's a cinematic smackdown. December 13, 2008

Yobbos on Parade

There's a good section in Bill Buford's book on hooliganism, Among the Thugs, were Bill is questioned by a high ranking police officer, who is curious about American football.

Police: "Is it true that a typical American football game lasts 3 hours or more, even though the actual time of the game by the clock is only 60 minutes?"
Buford: "True".
Police: "And is it also true that each fan in the stadium has his or her own seat?"
Buford: "Also true"
Police: "And is it true that there are rarely incidents of fan violence during the games?"
Buford: "Yes, it hardly ever happens, and if it does, the disturbances are quickly stopped."
The police officer simply shook his head in amazement.

In thinking about this, isn't it a bit ironic that in our violent U.S. gun culture, where thousands upon thousands of Americans are murdered with handguns each year, we have virtually no violence or deaths during any sporting events. And in England, where guns are almost impossible to obtain, fan violence and even deaths during football matches are a given.

Anyway, that's a matter for the social workers and psychologists.

This movie examines English football violence in a pretty accurate way. It's far from a great movie--it has too many cliches and it's tough for me to buy the elfin Elijah Wood has even a pretend Yank hooligan--but if you are fascinated by English football it's violent subculture, check this one out. You'll spot quite a few of England's "tough guy" actors in it, you know, a lot of the hard men who played colorful parts in the Guy Ritchie movies that were good, done so long ago. December 8, 2008

GSE

Best. Movie. Ever. Got it in perfect condition, definitely would do business with the dealer again. November 19, 2008

The darker side of football

GSH is a well made film that trys to show the darker side of football in the UK. It deals with a group of men who spend most of their days drinking at the pub and trying to find new ways to get into fights with revial football fans. Inserted into this group is a young American fresh from being thown out of college. Inside this "gang" he finds friends and a kind of family that he never had. A story of sticking together when the chips are down, GSH is a mix of Fight Club and The Boondock Saints, and anyone who enjoyed those films will enjoy this. The only things I didnt like was that the movie never really shows or talks about these men in the "real world" of thier daily lifes. We are shown little bits, but I would like to know more about why they choose to fight over football and street cred, instead of living a normal life. Also the "NYPD Blue camera work" really bugs me. Oh and I could never be scared of Frodo, no matter what he learned from these guys. August 25, 2008

Green Street

This is a great video for Irish Soccer fans. Not only does it show soccer but it shows honor. July 25, 2008

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