Armageddon (1998)

Pure stupidity

This movie is one of the silliest, dumbest movies I have ever seen. When I saw this film, it was apparent that no thought, no research, no intelligence went into the writing at all. Let's start with the basic premise of the film. An asteroid is discovered and we have 17 days until it hits. What do we do? In the real world, we bend over and kiss our butt goodbye. There is absolutely *no* way a mission such as this could be planned, trained-for and executed in this time. 17 days wouldn't be enough time to prepare a standard shuttle launch, much less one with this type of mission. This movie blindly ignores this fact. I am always distressed when films treat people as mere cattle, props to use while pounding a point home and then forget. In the open of the movie, New York is hit with a barrage of fragments, presumably causing untold death and injury. In the real world, people might even see fit to comment upon this with the people they meet. In Armageddon, this scene is presented as eye-candy (it *does* look pretty good) and then is promptly forgotten by everyone involved. No one talks about it. No one cares. There is so much that is wrong with Armageddon. The science involved in splitting an Asteroid the "size of Texas" with a nuclear bomb implanted only 800 feet into surface (trust me, when you have driven 800 feet into Texas, you haven't driven very far.) The idea that that bomb could divert the two large fragments enough to cause them to miss the Earth in the time they had left. The amazing "gravity" on the asteroid. The thing is, I can enjoy a good fantasy movie. Films do not always have to work by the rules of the reality I live in. I can accept "The Force" and other such fanciful ideas, as long as the movie is true to its own reality. But Armageddon chose to place itself in *our* reality, and should have attempted to follow the rules that apply here. Put simply, this movie is pure trash. It was by far the worst movie I saw in 1998, a year rife with embarrassing tripe. Save your time, save your money, save your brain. Don't see it. October 16, 2008

Anal About Realism? Not for you. Want To Be Entertained? This is it.

I believe this movie to be well directed and scripted. It had the right amount of humor, drama, and "feel good" ending. They knew when to be funny and when to be serious. It had a great cast and overall it was a very enjoyable movie. From what I've read, this was one of those "hate it or love it" movies and I really liked the movie.

As for realism, yeah most of that stuff probably wouldn't fly realistically but if the only way to save our planet was to drill a hole in the sucker, would I prefer astronauts be given last minute instructions on how to drill or would I prefer some guy who has done it for years? I guess it sounds kinda funny/stupid at first but...I would prefer the experienced driller.

In any case, if realism is what you wanted, this isn't for you. If you want a to watch an entertaining movie, this is one of the best I've seen. September 29, 2008

every cliche and movie ploy in the book

the best thing about this movie is it's fast paced and therefore the pain of various scenes is short-lived. also, there's some good one-liners on the moon. however, this movie attacks you with a blended mash of movie standards such as: the macho hero, the love interest, patriotism, action, rising music to artificially stir your emotions, the scientific genius,
the misunderstood father, the misunderstood daughter, suspense, comedy,
the bumbling bureaucrats, the rough-edged construction workers and of course, highly improbable drama. it's the full playbook crammed together, and because of that, it's virtually an educational guide about what not to do. it's a total mess overall, and horrible science fiction, but grabs your attention here and there. Unfortunately, though not even a decade old, it seems very outdated, largely b/c of the theme and the presence of the twin towers, but also because the computer effects are embarrasing in several places. overall, highly ridiculous. September 2, 2008

OVER HYPED. BORING.

This movie is over hyped. It's boring after 15 minutes into the movie. There's nothing exciting. It's also illogical. August 25, 2008

A celebration of excitement and excess

Michael Bay's films are an odd addition to the Criterion collection, until you recall the Criterion Collection's mission statement reads "All we ask is that each film in the collection be an exemplary film of its kind."

Armageddon is ultimate distillation of Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer's commercial action movie formula, a formula that they introduced in Bad Boys (Special Edition), improved upon in The Rock - Criterion Collectionand finally, post-Armageddon, ran into the ground in Pearl Harbor. Later Bay films like The Island and Transformers (Two-Disc Special Edition)are informed by this formula, but none of them come close to this masterpiece of 1990s action.

As you almost certainly know, the plot of Armageddon involves a gigantic asteroid on a collision course with the Earth. The only ones who can stop it are a rag-tag crew of oil drillers, who hitch a ride with some astronauts on a pair of fighter-jet space shuttles to blow the rock to bits with a well-placed nuke. Sounds silly? It is, and the film has a couple of winking acknowledgements of its own silliness. Mostly though, the film believes in itself, and it is easy to become caught up in the (false) grandeur of the undertaking.

Lots of people will bad-mouth this film, but those people are movie snobs. Armageddon was one of the most popular movies of 1998, and it was a defining element of the popular culture of the time. Ignoring it just because you dislike its style or story is to put on cultural blinders.

Personally, I felt that Armageddon's most interesting cinematic characteristic is Bay's use of a kind of cinematic short-hand. Much of Bruce Willis' character is defined by previous Bruce Willis movies, creating a kind of ready-made character who already feels familiar when he first appears. Likewise, the sequences involving the military are largely understandable only because you know how the military acts in this sort of movie.

But the best example of this shorthand is the character of Billy Bob Thorton. At one point he mentions that he was formerly in the astronaut program, but dropped out. There is a very short, perhaps less than 1 second, shot of a pair of leg braces. With just this flash of visual information, Bay has established an entire history for the character. Anyone who says that Bay is lacking in cinematic skills is ignoring his great gift at conveying information in a fast, visual way. A great example of showing, not telling.

This Criterion DVD has all the usual extra features you might expect, and they are as good as you might expect. The DVD commentary is entertaining and informative, and Bay is quite open about his commercial and pragmatic sensibilities, such as the story he relates that a certain beauty shot of a car was included so that the car-maker would give him money to build a bizarre set that was not included in the budget. Many of the cast members also contribute to the commentary; Ben Affleck is the highlight, obviously well trained from doing Kevin Smith commentary tracks. Bruce Willis is as laconic as his reputation would suggest, but his few comments are sometimes hilarious. This version of the movie is also slightly extended, with some scenes involving Willis' character's father, and a few slight extensions that add character beats to some of the minor scenes. Nothing major.

The second disc has lots of interesting features on the making of the movie, a collection of deleted scenes and a few bloopers. Most of the deleted scenes are comedy bits with the actors riffing in character, and all of them are entertaining but it is easy to see why they were cut out. The best blooper is an appearance by Michael Eisner (Disney's Touchstone division produced the film), who tells Willis that his casting isn't working out and the studio is replacing him with Kevin Costner.

All in all, this is a fantastic DVD of a highly entertaining movie. Don't let the movie snobs shame you into not getting it. If you enjoyed this movie back in the late 90s, you'll find plenty to still enjoy here. It has aged very well, and, from a film history standpoint, this DVD set is almost a time capsule of the bloated studio action pictures of the time. August 3, 2008

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